Boy oh boy, America, you keep surprising me! It's like a carnival ride around here! A carnival ride designed by someone who really hates you!
Weeee!!!! Gonna be fun! Love that new rolly-coaster, the one with the loop-de-loop! Loops all the way up to the sky so we can kiss a cardboard cut-out of a blue-eyed Jesus, and then loops back down all the way to the sewer so we can absorb feces and pee into every pore of our body. Getting off that ride is gonna cost a lot in towels and turkish baths, but what a ride! Totally worth it.
I hope my cousins in the great divide don't have to go die somewhere, that'd kind of suck... for them! I was told not to care! Apparently I live on Mars!
But hey, they bought the ticket so who am I to judge and kick in the balls?
Four more years!
By the way, I'd like to rub oil on the head of this guy.